It's just after midnight and I finally begin my journey here. I'm nervous because I want to commit to this idea of why I'm writting, but I'm afraid I'll let myself down by allowing distractions to defeat my purpose. I'm now openly driven to change my life and end the person and mom I was becoming. In working towards this new "life" I have choosen to be transparent with everything that I will struggle with as I learn to let God lead me, and with everything that has happened to bring to this point. The best way to learn about something is to teach it. I have to lead by example and I have plenty of examples to learn from. I know that one person, someday will use the lessons I'm learning as encouragement to get through their own. One day, someone will see my testimony as it unfolds here and may come to know the Lord in a way they haven't before. Either way, as difficult as this will be for me, I'm learning and working on trusting God to get me through this and to continue with this idea that my struggles, choices, tears and heartache will be used for others to come to Christ and for Christ to be glorified in all that will be made good in my life, my childrens lives and in the lives of those who are strong enough to become weak again, so that the Lord might be their strength.
We all make mistakes, everyday. No one is immune to being imperfect. It's just that some mistakes have different levels of severity in consequences then others. If you steal something, someone loses something and you can go to jail. If you murder someone, well...that would obviously hurt loved ones and friends and you would go to jail. If you walk away from God and try taking control of things, well, you can end up like me...an inmate in a prison built from consequence, dissapointment and regret. Unfortunatly, I'm not the only one serving my term. It so happens that 3 innocent bystandards have the same sentence, only, they didn't have a choice in the matter. This is where my journey begins and this is where my new "life" in Christ will grow, mature and thrive. Lots of prayer will be needed, not just for me and my family, but for everyone who will come across this and relate to my experiences, or have equally challenging ones of their own. Defeat is no longer an option and I'm no longer doing this on my own...
No comments:
Post a Comment